Lithium Petals
by 00RicePudding00
Summary: Her presence was unnatural, too human to be a vampire and too vampire too be human. Too pure and innocent to be either. The life's story of Tamilla Winter O'Young. ZeroXOC, slightly KanameXOC. Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight.
1. Valentine's Day

**Lithium Petals 1  
**

_Listen to: Valentine's Day by Linkin Park  
_

Cold. It was all she could feel as her body slowly slipped into black darkness.

Tamilla never thought blood would be shed when she simply wanted to tag along with her family's duties.

... Especially blood of her own...

covered in charred red blood, all Tamilla wished for was to not feel anymore. She didn't want to feel... this pain, this regret, this sorrow... If only she could just slip away into eternal sleep, never to wake from this nightmare again.

After all, what was left to live for?

She closed her eyes, letting a few thick drops of tears sink into the blood-covered cold earth before drifting into a warm darkness.

--

"Is she awake?"

"Almost; I thought I saw her eyelids move a little."

"I hope she's alright. Please, please don't die on us, please..."

Tamilla heard echoes of unfamiliar voices pounding in her head. She was submersed under dark water, sinking, going further into the depths of the ocean. Her body was heavy, as if it was buried under softness. Wait, softness? What is this? Tamilla tried to reach out and touch the softness surrounding her, but her body could not respond. She was too heavy, too heavy; too tired.

"Please, please... you can make it..."

Where was this sweet, honey voice coming from? The voice was broken, the voice whispered tears, the voice of an angel. Angels shouldn't cry, Tamilla thought hurtfully. Tamilla wanted to reach out to the angel, to tell him that everything was going to be fine, that angels were not meant to cry.

Trying to move anything, an arm, a finger, an eyelid; Tamilla could not make her body to follow her brains orders. She wanted to open her mouth, wanted to whisper reassurance to the broken-hearted angel, to tell him that there was nothing at all to worry about.

Then she felt something.

Something comforting and strong enclosing her hands. She could feel her hands! Tamilla itched to move a finger or two, but all she could do was mentally frustrate herself at the irresponse of her body. Was she even in a body? It would have to be, there was no other way she could feel the softness of fabric encasing her and the comforting, cold hands at her fingertips.

She managed to twitch a thumb.

"You're safe with me, who ever you are, I'll always be here with you at your side. You're not going through this alone, not any more..." the angel softly kissed her hand, as soft as a rose petal brushing her skin.

Tamilla wanted to wake up, to see the dear angel she heard so clearly. Was this a dream? Tamilla shook off that possibility, realizing how loud and clear the gentle voice emanated. She was so comfortable, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to wake up. It was quite the life just bathing in this plush softness and listening to the tranquil voice of an angel at your side.

Tamilla was regaining her consciousness. Guessed it wasn't a dream after all, slowly opening her eyelids to the brightness of her surrounding reality.

White. Everything was white. Not the blade-sharp, blinding white of a summer midday sun, but more of the soft, hospital white of a snowy evening, the white of the snowflake that drifts past windows and dances with the breeze on a winter night.

"Focus," Tamilla internally growled to herself.

Then, things started to take shape from the white blur.

The softness was in fact the down-stuffed cocoon that wrapped Tamilla. Everything in the room was a clean, caring white, even the glow coming out of the nearby window.

"You... feeling better?" The angel asked.

Using all of her effort to turn around, Tamilla absorbed the angel that saved her.

He was about Tamilla's age, perhaps a little older (maybe 14?), with chocolate-brown hair and a rich crimson shade in his eyes. Oh my, his eyes... they were, to say the least, mesmerizing. There was just so much... mystery in them. On the surface, his eyes showed over-concerning kindness and calmness, but deeper, one could identify with difficulty the slightest splinters of loneliness and exhaustion.

"Can you hear me? Are you feeling better?" The angel asked again, with obvious concern.

"I - yes, I'm feeling... better," Tamilla managed through her raspy voice. "Wh-where am I?" Tamilla asked, confused. What happened? How did she end up here? Where was her fa-

Her family.

Suddenly she started to take in everything, she started to remember...

The family that she loved so dearly, extinguished by a band of vampire-hunters. The blood. The screaming, the voice of her brother Viktor as he panickly rushed her away from the fight, how she saw her very own brother killed by the emotionless hunters.  
... and the darkness Tamilla was confident the face of Death as she slipped into him.

Tamilla shut her eyes in pain. This could not be real. Somewhere out there was her family waiting for her to come home to a warm supper in her cozy home in the woods. There she would see the smiling face of her brother, and she would run into Viktor with open arms before helping Mama set the table.

But as Tamilla began to recall the disaster, her memories just flowed back like the waves of a river. Fragments of blood, a fire, the limp bodies of her family. This was too painful. This just couldn't be real.

"Are.. you... okay?" The boy worried at Tamilla's sudden wince.

No, she was not okay, not at all; There was a painful hollow in her heart, like as if a hand of ice tugged away a part of her. The emptiness was overwhelming, there was so much discomfort in the heaviness within her chest. But at the same time, Tamilla didn't feel. She couldn't bring her tears to the surface, as if someone tranquilized her to not completely feel the agony of losing her only family.

It was confusing. She didn't know what to feel. Only... emptiness.

"I'm... empty." Tamilla whispered monotonely. The boy tilted his magnificent head, as if he was sympathizing.

Tamilla didn't want sympathy.

"What's your name?" he gently questioned.

"Tamilla... Tamilla... Winter..." Tamilla replied. Her last name was too painful to pronounce, like it would bring back the faces of her beloved family. Tamilla didn't want to feel anymore.

"Tamilla... my name is Kaname. Kaname Kuran. My guardian and I found you in a disolate area, covered in your own blood. Could I know please how you ended up there?" The boy inquired. He was so considerate. Kaname - that was his name.

"I ... don't want to talk about ... it..." Fat tears were gathering around her eyes. It hurt to much to feel, so why not feel it at all? Perhaps if she'd just forget what happened, she'll forget the pain.


	2. Hello

**Lithium Petals 2  
**

_Listen to: Hello by Evanescence  
_

"I'm sorry if I... caused you any distress or bringings of bad memories. Whatever happened, you're safe now, right here with me, do you understand? I will never, Ever let you go through something like that again." Kaname promised sincerely, his eyes narrowed with confidence. Damn, why was he so polite? It bothered Tamilla, like she was being treated like some million dollar object.

"I understand completely, thank you." Tamilla whispered, gathering herself. She hardly believed him. Who the hell was this person, anyway? HE never went through something, ANYTHING like what Tamilla experienced: Seeing her family die right in front of her eyes, the terror of it all, the fear of being found, and the agonizing regret for being so unnoble as to let your family sacrifice themselves for you. The emotionless eyes of the murderers... they were as if they were carved from stone. The murderers mentioned something about being sorry and sent from some kind of group...

Her brother...

The bravest thing he had ever done. Shoving Tamilla into a safe hiding place and transmitting the thought of cold, the hunters were not able to find Tamilla because they could not detect her body heat. He was so, so brave.

He was. Tamilla swallowed as she realized that Viktor would never come back again.

Everything slowly became blurry, as Tamilla started having trouble breathing. It hurt too much, her head, reminiscing these terrible thoughts, and the sharp pain in her heart, the emptiness of it all. Her vision was marred as the light refracting off her pained green eyes swam in the surfacing tears.

Kaname pulled her head close his chest. The two just sat there for nearly 10 minutes, Tamilla quietly sobbing into the comforting neck of Kaname, Tamilla sitting upright on her bed and Kaname kneeling right beside it. Tamilla felt so small, smaller than the scrawny 8 year old that she always saw in the mirror. A caged butterfly with torn wings. Patting her soft hair, Kaname soothed Tamilla until she remained quiet.

Or perhaps Tamilla had drained all the fluids out of her eyes, and could cry no more.

**Kaname's POV**

She was so peaceful as she slept, even though her dark bushy hair was scattered all over the pillow, dirt stained her face, and her clothes were torn. There was just an aura she emanated, an aura of purity and peace. Simply being next to her calmed Kaname down from the daily exhaustion and stress of being one of the most honoured purebloods alive.

Kaname silently wondered who she was, and what she was doing at the edge of an demolished, barren field beside the forest. And though Kaname knew there would be bloodshed in the story she would tell, he could not help but feel great sympathy for whoever appeared to be with Tamilla at the time. The girl seemed to be no older than 10, with an earthly brown mane of hapharzard, messy and wavy hair; sallow, pale skin that was nearly transparent; and a set of peaceful-looking but closed eyes.

Her breathing became laboured, and suddenly her body fell limp.

"Please, please... you can make it..." Kaname whispered, kneeling beside the young girl. His breath caused the slightest movement of her hair. Her face and hands twitched, and Kaname could tell she was not dreaming happy things; the muscles of her faced tensed as she meekly whimpered.

Kaname reassuringly clutched her left hand, the one that was hanging over the side of the bed, in a strong yet somehow gentle hold. He couldn't bear the pained expression the young girl's sleeping face wore.

"You're safe with me, who ever you are, I'll always be here with you at your side. You're not going through this alone, not any more..." Kaname whispered into her hand. He softly brushed her hands with his lips, hoping she would regain consciousness soon.

The being stirred. Her body that once looked so calm and peaceful twitched violently, and her face seemed to partake great effort in doing something. Was she trying to open her eyes? Great heavens, thank goodness she's alright, Kaname relieved. Her tired eyelids slowly opened, revealing a pair of unmistakably forest green eyes. The girl had difficulty focusing her vision, but when she did, she surprisingly scanned the room with a look of fascination and surprise, in contrast with confusion Kaname was prepared for. All this while, her soft aura never disappeared. It continued to glow a softness indescribable to Kaname.

""You... feeling better?" Kaname tentatively asked. Why was he so lost around this girl? Had he not spoke with the world's most powerful, bargained with the world's richest, and introduced to the world most beautiful? Had he not? Then why did Kaname feel so self-conscious around this girl he didn't even know?

She girl studied Kaname carefully. Kaname crossed his fingers that she understood his language; perhaps she suffers anmesia, Kaname questioned, supported by the dreamily lost green eyes that locked with his serious, perhaps over-concerning crimson ones.

"Can you hear me? Are you feeling better?" Kaname asked again. She looked so small and vulnerable, Kaname convinced himself. Such a small little child of purity and innocence. She reminded Kaname of Yuu-

"I - yes, I'm feeling... better," The girl quietly responded with apparent reluctance. "Wh-where am I?" She asked, confusing finally settling in. Ah, about time. Kaname studied her features before preparing to answer.

Just then, her eyes widened suddenly, bringing her emerald green orbs into clear view. They were quite magnificent, those metallic yet earthly green eyes, with the slightest hints a grassy green. Those green eyes fluttered in surprise, and shut tight in pain.

"Are.. you... okay?"

Shivers of terror ran through the girl. Her eyes the colour of trees froze into pale and icy iris' of horror. If she could sit any stiffer than she already did, her entire body took a sharp intake of breath and stayed still. She looked paralyzed, frozen in the sudden realization of the tragedy. Her soft aura shattered, momentarily, exposing her self-being alone to the outside world.

Kaname patiently gave her some time. He knew how it must have felt.

"I'm... empty." The girl said quietly, looking down. Her long wavy hair hid the hollowness behind her eyes. Kaname tilted his head to the side, pondering. Empty? That was an interesting term to use. He struggled to understand what she could have meant.

"What's your name?" Kaname questioned. Hopefully she would remember.

"Tamilla... Tamilla... Winter..." Tamilla replied. Kaname absorbed the melodic sound of her name. Tamilla. Winter. The name suited her well, Kaname thought, slightly sidetracked. He wanted to know more, learn more about this young child that emitted a soft, gentle aura. Where was she from? Was it her family who died? Why did she seem so interestingly different from other mortals, the humans? Kaname believed that Tamilla was different, there was just such a unique air around her that smelled sweetly, perhaps of waterlilies and earth. And it wasn't her blood either...

Her blood. How come Kaname could not smell her blood? He could always sample a smell of one's blood, whether they were vampire or human. Based on the smell of their blood, he could make biased - but always correct - ideas of a certain person. Takuma Ichijou had an interesting scent of something warm, perhaps a dessert out of the oven. It was truly interesting. Chairman Cross' blood smelled very normal, metallic and salty, but somehow, the scent reminded Kaname of the smell of new books. And Yuuki, Kaname's princess, contained this heavenly sweet blood that smelled of fruit.

But Tamilla; Kaname could not even sense her blood. Weird.

Oh, perhaps it was time to come back to Earth...

"Tamilla... my name is Kaname. Kaname Kuran. My guardian and I found you in a disolate area, covered in your own blood. Could I know please how you ended up there?"

The purity of her broken expression could have shattered Kaname's own heart. But he closed it; he had to, no matter how much Kaname wanted to help Tamilla. It was the only way Kaname could ruthlessly win his game - his chess game. The game of good and evil.

There was so much genuine sorrow in her eyes, it was so pure that some part of Kaname had softly cried too.

"I ... don't want to talk about ... it..." Tamilla croaked, letting the tears fall. If only Kaname could open his doors and let his own feelings out, if only he could generate the kind of emotion Tamilla could. But Kaname couldn't. Through his eyes, he was just a hollow monster, some selfish creature that could only cry and laugh and scream on the inside, and speak monotonely on the outside.

Perhaps Tamilla helped him, because Kaname could feel a door slightly shift open, letting the slightest beam of soft light in the dark room of his soul.

It felt good.

All Kaname could do now was trust his feelings, and his feelings told him to pat and hug the crying child until she fell asleep.


	3. She Will Be Loved

**Lithium Petals 3**

_Listen to: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5  
_

-2 Years later-

"TAMILLA WINTER. Hurry up or else we'll miss the banquet!" Kaname hollered half-heartedly up the stairs.

"I'm COMING, Kaname! Don't rush me!" The 10 year old girl retorted back. What an interesting ritual in the Kuran household.

Tamilla scurried down the grand stairs, her gentle aura emanating waves of calmness and purity. Kaname inhaled as his eyes were saturated in the sight of the pretty child, dressed up in a chocolate brown silk dress and a white sash. Tamilla stumbled and nearly tripped over her heels while sprinting down the stairs. Kaname's heart froze for a fraction of a second -

"Be CAREFUL! Are you alright, Tammy?" Kaname panicked.

Tamilla faced Kaname with eyes of emeralds, in contrast with the annoyed pudgy expression Tamilla sported. She always had that affect on him, stopping his heart by simply offering a view of her green gems that glimmered with light and innocence. It was the only thing Kaname could depend on to keep his emotional feelings sane. An angel, fallen from above, had found her place on Earth in the body of Tamilla Winter, with the angelic eyes of emeralds, powder soft milky skin, and a smile warmer than the ablazen sun. Oh, and with hair messier than horse stables.

"Yes, Kaname-sama, I'm okay! No need to worry - AGHH!!" Tamilla squeaked as her bracelet was caught in her bushy hair.

"Calm down; come down here and I'll help you out of it. Did I not remind you to comb your hair? It's as messy as ever." Kaname smiled.

Tamilla pouted as she hopelessly stood before Kaname, who gently untangled the bracelet-hair mess and combed through her hair with his fingers. Realizing how soft her hair really was surprised him.

He didn't deserve this angel. Kaname was a creature of darkness, an over-analytical and cold vampire. Everything he did was a detail of his game. Such an innocent radiance like Tamilla should not be tampered with the cold and hard beings of vampires.

When Tamilla's black hair finally did not look like one tangled mess, Kaname took the rose from his suit and tenderly positioned it in Tamilla's hair, right above her left ear.

"Turn around to face me, Tamilla." Kaname gently requested. The green eyes met the roan red eyes. Just for one minute, Kaname wished only to be with this angel for as long as it lived, to protect it and provide it with wind beneath its wings.

Such a pure aura Tamilla emanated. Kaname pulled Tamilla into a hug.

"You look very beautiful tonight, Tammy," Kaname breathed into Tamilla. Tamilla stared up at Kaname with glowing eyes.

"You look very beautiful yourself, Kaname-sempai!" The child giggled. Kaname had to chuckle.

"The right word would be handsome, Tamilla."

"Oh... do I look handsome, Kaname-sempai?" Tamilla asked in confusion.

Kaname laughed. "Nevermind. It's time to go. Make sure your shoes are on right."

Tamilla skipped alongside the smiling Kaname. "Where excactly are we going, Kaname-sempai?"

"To the Ichijou household. Please be on your best behaviour tonight. Takuma will be delighted to see you again"


	4. Angel

**Lithium Petals 4**

_Listen To: Angel by Sarah McLaughlin  
_

"We're here! We're here! We're HEERE!!" Tamilla squealed in delight.

Kaname grinned. Tamilla was only one of two people who could make him feel this way, who could make him smile by just being them. They didn't have to act like people who they were not to impress him, they were just themselves, the carefree spirits that they were blessed with.

But then again, Tamilla was just a cute 10 year old angel with an irresistably sweet aura. She could make anyone smile, for that matter.

Tamilla spun around to face Kaname, her curly black locks tickling Kaname's skin.  
"When was the last time we met Takuma, Kaname-sempai? Was it 3 months ago?"

Kaname remembered the last time a noble family held a banquet to establish relations. He was confident that it was the Akatsuki family that held one in the summer.

"I believe that would be 4 months ago, in August."

"Ooooh, I can't wait to see Takuma again! He's so cute!" Tamilla squeaked and gushed, "He's always smiling too!" Tamilla beamed. Kaname smiled, but some part of his heart fell. Did Tamilla think of himself as highly as Takuma Ichijou, the very person his mother entrusted leave a cheerful impression on Kaname?

"Am I not as cute as Takuma, Tammy?" Kaname teased. In his heart, he wanted to know the answer.

This was ridiculous. How could he possibly let his emotional happiness be based on the one word answer of a foolish 10 year old? ... but Tamilla was not foolish, Kaname cared for and even loved the girl. All she had to do was smile a little and kiss him goodnight everyday.

_--_

--

___Flashback  
_

___"Tamilla? How is your fever doing?" Kaname asked worriedly as he quietly walked into the darkness of her room._

___Tamilla coughed quietly and moaned. "Brilliant," she managed to cough out. Kaname knew she was trying to assure him that everything was alright._

___Kaname sighed gingerly. Raising his cold hand and pressing it against her forehead, the touch was like meeting fire with ice. The heat of Tamilla's fever made Kaname's hand tingle in a hot, burning sensation. Kaname looked down to meet Tamilla's eyes._

___As green and as gentle as ever, excactly like the sweet perfume of her breath. Tamilla smiled. "I'll be better tomorrow if the sun is out."_

___Kaname smiled. The sunshine always made Tamilla happy. "Goodnight then, Tamilla Winter." Kaname bent down slowly to touch her forehead with his own._

___Kaname retracted and queitly stood up. Just as he turned around, he heard an all too familiar quiet voice._

___"May I kiss you goodnight, Kaname? Like always?" Tamilla asked quietly._

___Kaname stood still while facing the door. He could not describe the butterflies that shivered in his inners, the warmth of his lungs as he breathed in the waterlily scent, and the melody in his ears as he heard that innocent voice. How could he let her do this to him? Driving him insane, nearly over the edge when she wanted to softly peck his cheek goodnight. The feel of a flower petal as it brushes his face._

___Kaname smiled brilliantly as he turned around._

___"Yes, you may."_

___Tamilla managed to grin through her painful fever. Kaname bent down once again beside Tamilla's bed. Tamilla righted herself and leaned forward, clear happiness in her eyes, as she shut them slightly and moved upwards..._

___Kaname's heartbeat drummed loud. The sight of a puckering angel made him want to do more than just wait for her to press her lips against him._

___Kaname leaned forward and kissed her forehead before Tamilla could react._

___"Goodnight, Tamilla," Kaname whispered, pulling back. He ruffled the hair of a delighted and grinning Tamilla before silently exiting the room._

_--_

___"Would you like to come outside with me to play, Kaname-sempai?" Tamilla asked politely._

___Tamilla was dressed in a straw hat, a large sundress, and a pair of sandals. In her arms she struggled with a box of skipping ropes, chalk, various balls, and her favourite: a pogo stick._

___Kaname looked up from his book. Her cuteness could have knocked him unconscious. Tamilla's wide smile inticed him to just walk up to her and hug her; but Kaname had work to do, people to research, plans to create. Not one day could go to waste._

___Although he did long for a break... No, he could not, there was just so much work to do before talking with Chairman Cross again._

___... Although Tamilla did deserve some play time with him after doing a week's worth of chores and singing him to sleep during his weeklong migrane..._

___While Kaname was suffering a quiet internal war, Tamilla tilted her head to the side, revealing a curtain of wavy black hair._

___"Is there anything I can help with, Kaname-sempai?" Tamilla offered, "I know you've been very tired lately."_

___Kaname snapped back from his inner struggle. The smile of Tamilla Winter finally induced him to a decision. It was unanimous._

___"Yes, you could help me by playing on the swings with me. And please, just call me Kaname, okay?" Kaname smiled._

___Tamilla whooped and squealed. It wasn't everyday that your favourite person in the whole world offered to play in the playground with you._

___Outside, Kaname breathed in the smell of the autumn air. It was sweet, crisp, and moist, something he admitted to not have savoured in a long time. When was the last time he was doing something he loved, with the angel he loved?_

___"WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" Tamilla screamed as Kaname pushed her higher and higher into the air. Kaname laughed as Tamilla squirmed and screamed when Kaname tickled her every time her swing flew backwards. The lightness within Kaname was something he had never felt before; Kaname completely forgot how old he was and who he was meant to be when he was at the playground with Tamilla. There was just so much... _**joy**_ in his heart, that airy and fluttery sensation Kaname had experienced only once, and that was now._

___Through the two's eyes, this was quality time together, a relief of the struggle Kaname had been through recently. Tamilla was more than happy to have lightened him up. Through the eyes of any passerbys, they were just 2 kids goofing around on the swings._

_--_

_--_


	5. Find Me

**Lithium Petals 6  
**

_Listen To: Find Me by Boyce Avenue  
_

Tamilla giggled in Kaname's strong arms. She looked up at Kaname with twinkling green eyes and a huge smile.

"Master Kaname is the cutest of them all!" Tamilla replied easily. Kaname felt as if a bird inside of him waiting for years in a cage was released; he felt so _aliv_e. With an angel in his arms, in front of the house of his good friend, and hearing the adorable words of how he was the most treasured person in his angel's life was much more than he deserved.

Kaname smiled. He bent down to touch his cold lips on Tamilla's forehead.

"Let's go see Ichijou now."

"TAMILLA! KANAME! HOW ARE YOU?!" Takuma hollered happily outside as the two exited the limosine.

"TAKUMA!!" Tamilla squealed as she sprinted (nearly tripping over her heels again) into the open arms of a cheerful Takuma.

"How do you do, Ichijou?" Kaname smiled. Takuma smiled back and nodded. He knew Kaname was a man of few words.

"Takuma! I've missed you so much! You have to tell me all about your trip to Italy!" Tamilla beamed into the green-eyed blond. Takuma laughed and ruffled her bushy black hair.

"I'll tell you for sure. You have GOT to hear about the food there! Do you have any idea how good Eggplant Parmesan tastes??" Takuma's light green eyes twinkled.

"Egg-plant par-meez-on?" Tamilla wrinked her nose, "Sounds weird..." Tamilla laughed, the sound of shifting wind chimes. "Let's go inside, Takuma, Kaname! It's a pretty cold winter day out here!"

As the three entered the mansion, Takuma took their jackets to the maids while Tamilla raised her eyebrows at the number of people whom arrived earlier. Kaname knelt down to face Tamilla and spoke to her gently.

"Tamilla, I won't be able to talk with you very much tonight, I hope you don't mind. I will be talking with other vampires about some business, so I'll make sure Takuma looks after you, alright? Hopefully you'll make some friends here while you're at it," Kaname explained sadly. He didn't want to be away from the side of his angel for more than a minute, but tonight was extremely important. He would have to discuss things with the Council of Ancients, and the very cold grandfather of his good friend.

Kaname could tell that he had ever so slighty disheartened the cheerful child, but she understood. Kaname knew she would have a good time with Takuma.

Tamilla smilled reassuringly at Kaname. "Don't worry Kaname-sempai. I owe you everything in my world, you are my knight in shining armour!" Tamilla grinned. It was so beautiful to see this angel acknowledge you as if you were a God, when in fact Kaname knew that he was nothing more of a stealthy, heartless demon. Such demons should be forbidden to love an angel so pure.

Tamilla leaned into Kaname's arms and wrapped her small, dainty arms around Kaname's neck. They were like that, arms around each other, for nearly a whole minute, Kaname just breathing in the sweet scent of the angel, until the angel broke apart and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. The kiss of an angel was to die for, the feeling of a flower giving life to your being by touching your skin.

Kaname kissed the top of Tamilla's head before he stood up and walked away.

On his lips, the scent of waterlilies and autumn air lingered.

--

Tamilla yawned with great exaggeration. "Takuma, there's no one else our age here tonight, is there?"

Ichijou reminded himself of the guest list. "No, I do not believe so. Why do you ask, Tammy?" Ichijou was the only person who called Tamilla solely as "Tammy".

Tamilla smiled as she tilted her head to her side. "Well, I was just wondering if there was anyone else we could play with," Tamilla sighed. "Apparantly not."

Ichijoy hated to see Tamilla upset, even the slightest splinter of boredom. Ichijou enjoyed spoiling the child who was just like a younger sister. "Well, we could go outside to play in the park beside the new houses! How about that, Tammy?"

Tamilla's eyes twinkled with a childish michief. "Yes, let's! It sounds fun, I love going on the swings!" Ichijou laughed as he wrapped his arm around the child, leading her outside while the child babbled on about her very exaggerated swinging experience.

"... and then, Kaname-sempai twisted the swing around about 6 times, then he let it go really fast! It was like being on a roller coaster!" Tamilla recalled delightedly. Ichijou had to smile. The amazing talent Tamilla had to make everyone around her calm and smily was quite extraordinary.

After nearly an hour of swinging, tagging, monkeying around and hysterically screaming, Ichijou realized it was getting quite dark. Tamilla, however, payed no attention to the fact that the sun had set an hour ago, and was delighted to see a party of fireflies fluttering beside the nearby patch of forest.

"Tammy, we should really be going inside! It's cold and dark out here, Kaname is probably getting worried about you. Let's go while the chocolate fondue is still running," Ichijou teased. To his irritation, Tamilla seemed to have not heard him at all.

"Oooh, fireflies, Takuma! There are so beautiful!" Tamilla sighed in marvel. Ichijou turned to see hundreds of fireflies glowing beside the woods. "Takuma, have you ever caught a firefly?"

Ichijou raised an eyebrow and smiled. Ah, a challenge... finally, after months of boredom, he could put his vampire abilities to the test. Capturing an firefly would take a vampire's upmost output of their speed, accuracy, and stealth. Ichijou smirked. "How does your own firefly in a jar sound, Tammy?"

Tamilla whooped with glee. "Good luck, Ichijou!" Tamilla shouted as she chased after the hysterically sprinting boy. Laughing, the two repeatedly knocked into one another as they followed the fireflies that flew above.

Out of the corner of the forest, a pair of metallic lavender eyes traced the path of the two hysterics. The eyes narrowed at the smell of the vampire Ichijou's blood, stalking forward with intentions of injury.

Kaname looked at the time on the grandfather clock in the majestic ballroom of the Ichijou mansion. It announced that it was 9:38 pm.

Why aren't they back yet? Kaname growled. Ichijou should be more responsible than this, as the temporary guardian of his beloved Tamilla. What could be so important that kept them outside? Chasing fireflies? Kaname innerly snorted. Yeah, right. Ichijou was more rational than that.

After more mindless conversations with the nobles, the vampires within the mansion acknowledged the ringing of the grandfather clock as it struck 10 o'clock. At this point, Kaname began to panic. They were still not back yet, although it was completely obvious that it was dark and sinister outside.

Sinister.

There was a new presence on the Ichijou property.

Apparantly only Kaname could sense it. Having the supernatural senses of a pureblood, Kaname felt a cold, hard presence entering the property.

Ichijou.

Tamilla.

They were still outside.

-

--

**It had come to my attention that the profile provide in the Introduction is completely irrelevant to the time setting of the story for now. Please don't get confused! **

**I will post the next chapter once I get at least 5 reviews ;) ... please let me know what you think about this story so far!  
**

**Thanks everyone!!**


	6. Broken

**Lithium Petals 6**

_Listen to: Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee  
_

Brusquely excusing himself from the formal conversation he was in, Kaname rushed out he front door. Scanning the area, there seemed to be no sight of the two people he was looking for. Perhaps he would have to follow the scent of their blood? Kaname grumbled. Damn it, he never thought that the fact that no vampire could physically sense Tamilla's blood would play an inconvenient role in a situation like this.

Kaname observed the air. Cold. Dark. Sinister.

Obviously. What else would you expect on a dark, winter night?

A howling of air soared past the rigid pureblood as he walked further into the darkness.

* * *

"Ouch," Ichijou muttered as he poked at his ankle. Swollen and black, he expected Tamilla to repel away in disgust at the vampire's most recent injury (after recklessly jumping over 4 feet high logs in the forest).

Contrary to his belief, Tamilla actually scurried over and bent down to examine the badly sprained ankle.

"Ow, Takuma, doesn't this hurt a lot?" Tamilla inquired worriedly, her green eyes burrowed.

Ichijou grinned widely as his blond hair rustled in the cold wind. "Not as much as you think, Tammy. For a human it might've been very painful, but for me?" Ichijou mockingly flexed his biceps, though it was hidden underneath his dress shirt and jacket.

Tamilla laughed. She always thought Ichijou acted 10 years younger than he actually was. "Let me take care of it for you," Tamilla offered.

Ichijou smiled. Perhaps she wanted to play 'Doctor' or something. Maybe she had a bandaid and a plastic stethoscope hidden up her sleeve. However, to his surprise, Tamilla bent close to his ankle and softly blew on the swollen skin. Her breath was a warm perfume against his cold, hard shell.

Then, many things occured within a infinitestimal fraction of a second.

One, some warmness from Tamilla's aura seemed to have leaked into the skin of Ichijou.  
Two, his injury glowed with a very soft but quick light. Three, Ichijou's ankle was completely healed. It was as if nothing had ever happened to it.

* * *

The boy narrowed his eyes until they were as sharp as arrows. It was disgusting, the pompous smell of a noble vampire's blood, the very kind that killed his entire family. It was obvious the blond one was a vampire; how about the girl? What on Earth was She? He whiffed the air for a scent.

He could only smell the blood of the boy.

Weird, he thought, she was much too energetic and pure for a vampire, but she carried the same type of air around her. Most peculiar...

The boy seemed to have sprained his ankle. For a human, the injury looked as if it would have been agonizing, but the vampire was much more physically capable of handling the pain, although, judging the angle of the foot and the colour of the blood, it still might have cause at least Some discomfort.

The smell of the blackened blood made its way to the hunter lurking within the shadows. Ugh. Sickening.

Eyes aflame with pure hatred against the bloodsucker's species, he descreetly exited the shadows, the Bloody Rose clutched in his sweaty palm.

* * *

Kaname finally, finally, Finally picked up the scent of Ichijou's blood. The great rackus caused by the thunderous winds dampened his ability to pick up scents, just for an inconvenient minute. Trudging his way through the tall grass, he sighted a patch of forest before him.

That was exactly where the sinister prescence was. Kaname could almost sense the motive of murder in the air; the hatred from the presence was terrifying.

Tamilla?

Was the presence really just 100 feet away from her?

A monster roared deep within his chest, stimulating a sprint faster than the speed of sound.

* * *

Two people were in Kaname's field of view. They looked up.  
Ichijou smiled nervously. "Good evening, Kaname," he tried to converse.

It was a pleasant evening alright. He spent nearly 4 hours taking with the monotonest vampires alive, his Tamilla was close to a murderous presence, his closest friend failed to bring his angel back home on time, and the angel was shivering from the forceful, howling winds that nearly knocked her over.

"Tamilla," Kaname addressed. "Please wear my jacket. I will refuse to let you catch a cold," Kaname took off his heavy jacket and draped it around the shaking angel. She looked up with grateful eyes.

"I was worried about you," he whispered into the child's hair. "You didn't need to worry about me, Kaname-sama! I was with Tak-"

Kaname reacted withing a trillionth of a second. He jerked the girl down spontaneously while trying to keep Ichijou in his view. In the ground and PISSED to an extreme, he calmly wrapped his hands around the bullet that was impaled to the tree behind them.

Before him stood a boy, younger than he was, with stikingly silver hair. The lavender eyes with swimming with liquid feelings of hatred and revenge. The feeling was so powerful, his eyes seemed to be aflame.

Around his hands was a gun. The Bloody Rose. The source of the bullet that nearly grazed Tamilla's hair.

"Ichijou. Leave with Tamilla. Now." Kaname quietly commanded. Ichijou nervously sat up and took the shaking girl by the hand. Tamilla, horrified, refused to leave without her master...

"Vampires." The boy whispered onimously.

He pulled the trigger. How pathetic.

Did he really think a Gun could kill the purest vampire that walked the Earth?

The bullet pierced through the air with a murderous screech. Kaname was completely ready for it. It would cause more pain than a mere itch in his abdomen.

What happened next, he did not expect at all.

Kaname did not expect for Tamilla to scream at the sight of a 100 mile bullet shooting right at his heart.  
He did not expect Tamilla to jump in front of it.

Silly girl, the bullet wouldn't kill him. It would even't hurt him.

But if the bullet touched the soft skin of a small angel...

As the bullet made impact with her chest, her green eyes lost their fire, the liquid light in them. They became solid, still.

Green, yet still.

He was frozen to the ground. This must have been a hallucination. His angel could not have taken a bullet for him. This couldn't be, this couldn't be...

Then why was her face as perfect as ever, so real?

The angel staggered from the force, then it slowly blinked, absorbing the pain. Blood was escaping her body, the sweetest blood Kaname has ever smelled in his life. Incomparably honey-sweet. Red stained nearly all of her small party dress, completely ruining her pale complexion and Kaname's sanity.

The more red Kaname saw, the frailer the angel became.

It started to lose balance; it started to fall, ever so slowly, as if it would take an eternity for the angel to touch the ground. Like a feather dropped from the sky.

Still paralyzed, Kaname ran stiffly and caught the angel. She was as fragile as a porcelain doll.

It looked up at him with the same green eyes, the same soft aura, just as always. Just as always...

Kaname, uncontrollably shivering, smoothed the waves of hair from the child, still open-mouthed... was it really... dying? Kaname thought, horrified; what if this was the last time he would see the light of the crystal green eyes, the beautiful smile playing on her lips, the words like a melody to his ears?

The angel, still in his embracing arms, labouredly look up to meet his terrified crimson eyes. There was still a liquid fire in them, the same beauty he recalled the day he discovered her. The scent of waterlilies was still there, the scent of her warming aura. It never faded, so why was she? It started moving its mouth, in small, weak motions:

"Don't be afraid... sempai..." the angel gently whispered. Slowly losing consciousness...

"I..."

"... you... Kan... a.."

There, it closed its eyes, the last time he remembered those green crystals and the harmony of her voice.

* * *

**Aaaack, I'm sorry about the heart-breaking ending :(**

**... but WOW I am so happy to read all of your reviews! You guys have no idea how much I appreciate your opinions. Sorry about the slow update, I spent all of yesterday at an assembly. Once again, the more reviews, the faster I will update! I have chapters already written, so it is only a matter of time and the amounts of reviews I receive. Stay tuned!  
**

**Peace yall.**


	7. Breathe No More

**Lithium Petals 8**

_Listen to: Breathe No More by Evanescence_

Ugh.

Ow.

_Aggggh._

The pain in her head, it hurt so much... an itch, almost, under the skin of her forehead. She felt so uncomfortable, it just didn't feel right, her sweaty, nauseous body in the soft, plush blankets.

Sighing, the girl slowly drifted her eyelids open from her sticky slumber.

Warm. Gray. She could hear the fat raindrops tapping against the roof of the small building. Rain... the word just came to her naturally...

Where on Earth was she?

What happened to her?

Hesitantly sitting upright against the headboard of her bead, the young girl puzzled at her unfamiliar environment.  
Owwww... her head... it hurt again...

She examined the cotton quilts tucked around her lower body, and the boring furniture in the room. The place smelled of deep-fried crap and paper. Turning, the girl noticed a small bouquet of flowers propped on her bed stand.

They were pink. Carnations... once again, the word just made its way from her brain to her mouth.

Tamilla... Winter...

Who was... 'Tamilla'? What was the name doing, drifting in her head?

Tamilla... Winter...

Something wasn't right, something here was missing. She shut her eyes in perplexion and pondered. But what was there to think about? There was nothing to remember, because she couldn't remember anything. And this feeling wasn't right, the feeling that someone had lost a part of themselves. Squeezing her eyes tighter, she looked nearly constipated trying to remember things that never happened.

Tamilla... Winter...

As Kaien Cross stepped into the room, he expected nothing more of a frightened child hidden beneath the sheets, trying to avoid himself as much as possible. To his sheer delight, he caught the sight of the face the girl squeezed so intensely, it looked like she could make her face implode.

"How are you feeling, my dear?" Cross asked fatherly. Suddenly perking up to face the man, the child blinked in surprise.

Tamilla... Winter...

Cross chuckled.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kaien Cross, and I - along with my 'son' Zero - found you critically injured in a forest. Apparantly Zero had accidentally shot you with his gun, but I promise he will be chided for momentarily, but if you don't mind, I'd like to know more about you. Do you have any recollections of your past that you'd like to share?" Cross asked gently, sitting down on the bed.

The girl blinked. What was he talking about?

Tamilla... Winter...

"What is your name?"

It just slipped past her lips, hardly audible:

"Tamilla... Winter..."

Kaien clapped his hands with glee. "Ah! The child speaks! It is ALIVE!! Come Zero, we must celebrate!! The child BREATHES!!" Jumping up and down, the fully-grown man danced with an imaginary person as a shockingly silver-haired boy depressingly entered the room.

Tamilla raised an eyebrow. Was the man gay, or mentally ill?

Perhaps both...

Nonetheless, her name just seemed to... stick. Tamilla Winter were just 5 syllables that escaped her mouth, but the rhythm of the names just clung to her. She was Tamilla. Tamilla Winter...

Where was she from?

Wiping the tears of happiness, Kaien Cross turned his beaming head to face the girl.

"Tamilla - did I pronounce that correctly? - this is Zero," the man said, pulling the awkward looking child towards him. "Zero, this is Tamilla Winter."

As the boy rose his eyes to face that of Tamilla's, she was curious to find a pair of fiercely lavender eyes.  
They were a menacing colour, put the eyes of the boy were almost... sad. Sorry.

Kaien released a very uncomfortable Zero and reapproched Tamilla. "You've been in a coma for 2 weeks, Tamilla. I do not expect to be able to answer this very comfortably, but - how did you end up in that forest, alone?"

What forest? What was he talking about?

"Sorry... what forest?" Tamilla asked timidly.

Kaien raised his eyebrows. "The forest where we found you in? Don't you ... remember?"

Tamilla shook her head confused. "I don't remember... anything." Tamilla looked down, confused and frustrated. How could this stranger know more about her more than she does herself? How did she even end up here, in this room, in the first place?

Kaien Cross turned to Zero and gave him a worried expression. In turn, Zero brought his eyes sheepishly to the floor. Why was the poor boy so embarrassed? He didn't do anything wrong, did he?  
... didn't Cross mention though, something about Zero accidentally attacking her with her gun? Aw, man, this sucks, her head still hurt, and these weird people expect her to remember a past of her's that never existed.

Or did it?

Cross excused himself from the room, apparently to talk to the nurse who took care of the injured Tamilla.

Leaving Zero and Tamilla alone.

There was just something about the presence of the boy that made Tamilla want to hug him, to tell him that everything was going to be perfectly fine. But how coould she? The boy Zero was just a stranger that Tamilla had met less than a minute ago, yet Tamilla had felt as if she had known him forever. Like a twin. Like a best friend.

Tamilla decided to turn her attention away from the boy who hung his head nervously. There were constant images floating in her mind; flowers. Clouds. Trees. Fireflies. Blood. Parties.

* * *

Vampires.

* * *

None of it seemed to make any sense. Tamilla had only a sparse few pieces of a gigantic puzzle, and none of them fit together. Tamilla felt as if she had lived a few seconds through someone else's eyes, a sleepy slumber, remembering faces she couldn't recognize, voices she couldn't pinpoint, and people she never met.

After a very awkward moment of silence, Zero reluctantly approached Tamilla with eyes filled with sympathy. Slowly propping himself on the bed, he raised his eyes to face Tamilla. The lavender eyes met the green, the lavender pair sorrowful, the green eyes confused. The boy softly whispered to Tamilla, never really making full eye contact:

"I'm sorry."

* * *

**WHEE my darling Zero is finally in the story! **

**I decided to put out this chapter a little earlier because I am just ESTATIC from all the reviews I am receiving! I love you all!! ... and no, Tamilla did not die, that would suck if I left the story at that.**

**Ok, I have finally come to a decision of what to do with Yuuki 'Cross': I'm going to add her as the adoptive daughter of Kaien Cross' close friend. I don't have a valid reason to keep Cross as Yuuki's surname, but let's just let it be.**

**Thanks for all the encouraging reviews! Like previous chapters: the more reviews the happier I'll be the faster I'll post the next chapter.**

**That's all. Peace**


	8. Untitled

**Lithium Petals 8  
**

_Listen to: Untitled by Simple Plan_

As Zero slowly and very reluctantly entered the room, he felt a sharp pain in his chest as he caught a glimpse of the broken, dismantled girl. The one he shot. The one who he had unintentionally destroyed a future for. The one who could not recall her past. Even though she sat quietly like a stray animal in the bed, she glowed a warmth of undescribable wonder. It felt _welcome _and _caring_, though the girl was a ruined soul. Peculiar. Almost _weird._

The nurse explained that it was a true miracle that she survived; knowledgable with vampire weapons, the nurse also knew that the Bloody Rose could, with a good accuracy like what Zero sported, could kill a vampire in less than a second.

* * *

_How the hell was she able to have survived that? _

* * *

Not only did she _survive, _she was in a perfect physical shape, exempt of the healing wound on her abdomen. There was only one problem, one thing that Zero altered;

Zero was told by the nurse when the Chairman wasn't with him that he had interfered with the nervous system of the girl, severely distorting her memory. As a matter of fact, it would be a wonder if she could remember any events at all of her past.

So to make a long story short - Zero had dissimulated the past and memory of this innocent being.

* * *

It felt terrible.

* * *

It felt terrible to stare though the sweet warmth of the girl's air into the young girl's shockingly green eyes but not see any life in them - they only swimmed with confusion and loss. To see the battered and dry-blooded state of the girl in her ruined cocktail dress, that would have fitted her small figure marvelously in its intentional state. And to realize that the cause of her terrible future was Zero himself.

He wasn't even supposed to injure anyone that night. He pulled the trigger as a result of uncontrollable hatred towards that... vampire... but how would he know that the girl threw her body in front of the vampire she longed to protect?

How could she have even had _felt_ the shot? Because, wasn't the Bloody Rose harmless to humans? And since she _did_ seem to suffer the same consequences as a vampire, how come she wasn't _dead_, the Bloody Rose having full capability to blow a bloodsucker into dust? She seemed pretty human; or was she? How come Zero could not smell her blood?

... what a mystical creature. Zero had a million and one questions to ask her. But she couldn't answer; she knew less than nothing of herself.

No matter. He had still ruined a life.

So as he caught a glimpse of those green, unknowing eyes, Zero could not help but feel like a criminal. No, nearly a murderer. Her untidy black hair was draped around the pale, heart shaped face, her body kept in the security of the soft, warm quilts.

There was no one left in the room except an innocent girl emanating a wonderous warmth and calmess, across from a murderer.

Zero stood stiffly for who knows how long. All the while, he could feel the intense weight of the green eyes resting on him, filled with confusion and curiosity. She could have been a very fun-loving person. She could have been a great singer. She could have been a world-class athlete, for all Zero could care. But it didn't matter anymore, because she could not remember any events of her past.

At least she could talk. Zero hoped.

It was time to admit his mistakes. Time to puncture open his heart and reveal the angst and trouble in them. Time for Tamilla to see the face and soul of her murderer...

In what felt longer than infinity, Zero finally decided to approach the girl; slowly, hesitantly making eye contact. Zero sat himself down on the edge of the girl's bed and looked up to see those curious, new-born eyes. Her gentle, sweet-smelling air tickled Zero as it seemed to bathe him it its calmness.

"I'm sorry," Zero whispered. The apology came from the bottom of his unfeeling heart. Zero stared into the bright deepness of the girl's wonderfully green eyes, as perfect as a princess-cut emerald and as glittery as new-fallen snow. But of course, as lost as a three-year old child.

The girl remained curiously expressionless. Slightly tilting her head to the side, she questioned back: "What is there to be sorry for?"

Zero's heart took in another blow. The damn innocence of her voice. It sounded so familiar... Zero was sure he had heard it before. But where, but where?

She knew nothing of the pain Zero had truly caused, the future he had ruined. Damn this weird creature with weird healing powers and a weird aura and an unkowing past. Oh wait, the latter was his fault.

"I... was the one who did this to you. I- I'm sorry," Zero apologized sheepishly. The girl next to him stared at Zero's nervous lavender eyes with an air of almost frustration. Zero couldn't blame her, putting Zero into Tamilla's shoes, he could understand how one would feel as an idiot in front of them was apologizing for no apparent reason. She opened her mouth to say something, until Kaien Cross barged into the room once more.

"Tamilla, darling! Come up with an engenius idea; why don't you come live with us as my daughter? Zero was adopted too!" Cross gushed. Tamilla almost laughed at the insanity of the fully-grown man before freezing into a surprised 'O' shaped mouth. Not insulted or happy or embarrassed, but just surprised.

* * *

Wait, _live_ with them?

* * *

"I'm afraid... I can't accept that, Mr. Cross..." Tamilla stuttered, surprised at the sudden suggestion. Zero raised both eyebrows in surprise. Apparantly within the last 30 seconds, his adoptive father offered to adopt a girl, and the girl, with no one left to save her, rejected.

Was it the full moon tonight?

Cross' face fell slightly. Tamilla quickly added: "It is not because I don't want to... it's because... I hardly know you, Mr. Cross, and I don't want to become an inconvenience..."

Kaien Cross smiled widely once again. "I have an idea; why don't you try out living with us for a week or two? If you enjoy it, I would love more company in the house. If you don't, you're future is completely in your own hands."

Tamilla blinked, almost deliberately, in a stunned silence. Both pairs of eyes were on her. She pondered in silence. Scanning her options along with her, Zero realized that Tamilla didn't have much of a chance in the world unless she decided to be taken in as soon as possible.

* * *

**Woohoo finally another chapter up. My deepest thanks once again to all who took the time to review! There have't been as many reviews, but I'm still going to be writing : Just a reminder that in this story, Yuuki does not live with Kaien Cross but his close friend. So, what will Tamilla decide to do with her helpless life? I would also like to apologize again for the sudden twist of relationships! I planned out this story very meticulously, it's not just going to be a 20 chapter story (I'm aiming for at least 100!).  
**

**... find out in the next chapter! Once again, the more reviews, the faster the chapter will be up. I'll be taking the time to read any suggestions of any aspect of the story; be it you want a new character in or a villian. It would also be sweet if any of you want to suggest to base a chapter on a song (ENGLISH PLEASE). I'll be reading anything you guys take the time to write!**

**Thanks for taking the time to read and review! That's all for now. Peace.**

* * *


	9. Away From Sun

**Lithium Petals 9 **

_Listen to: Away From The Sun by 3 Doors Down  
_

**Zero**

"I... would... very much like that," Tamilla admitted into a small smile. Her warming aura glowed softly around her body; it seemed that no matter what happened to Tamilla Winter, as long as she had her sweet air around her, almost like a protective bubble, she could be unharmed from sorrow and angst. Tamilla's small smile gave Zero a fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach that ran up to his spine, almost making him want to smile as well.

Zero was going barking mad. He almost smiled. Ha.

Right then and there the man jumped 10 feet in the air before breaking out into a ballistic happy dance.

He needed dancing lessons, Zero thought. Badly. Maybe he was on alcohol or something.

After a minute of stunned silence from the two children, the seemingly-drunk man launched himself into Tamilla, bringing her into a big bear hug. Tamilla's eyes opened widely in surprise, but she responded with a little laugh as she struggled to breathe.

"This is excellent! Zero, aren't to excited to have a new companion? At least for a week?" Cross beamed at Zero. Zero grunted in reply. Life would be a little more intereesting, he guessed... since Zero only saw his over-reactive, sugar-high 'cousin' Yuuki only a few times a week. Yuuki lived with another close friend of Kaien Cross, and the two adults would meet regularly about opening a school or something. Zero failed to successfully eavesdrop.

"Wonderful!" Cross emphasized again. "I shall fill out the papers right now!" Cross scurried over to the door. Before leaving the room, he turned around and gave the stunned Tamilla a dramatic wink. "You won't regret this at all, Tamilla! I'm sure you and Zero will become the best of friends."

Zero almost gagged.

After the man had left the room, the air was filled with an awkwardness after seeing the terrible chicken-dance from a fulling grown man. The girl turned to Zero and smiled weakly.

"Is he always like that? I'm a little frightened," Tamilla admitted with smile.

Zero felt she deserved a smile too. "Usually its not this bad. He just gets very jittery around new people... I guess..." Zero said quietly. Tamilla glowed with a wider smile.

"So," Zero tried to converse, "How old are you?"

Tamilla stared at Zero with those penetrating green eyes again. She looked around 10, perhaps a little older.

"How would I know?" Tamilla managed to smile. She was pretty easy to converse with, without being too blabbery.

Right. She doesn't remember anything. Zero mentally slapped himself.

Tamilla stared with a silent amazement out the window. The rain had stopped and instead, turned into a soft display of snow. Zero looked outside the window with a look of curiosity as well; it didn't usually snow during this time of year. It was interesting - for the two weeks Tamilla had been in a coma, it never stopped raining. Not just any rain, but the fat, ugly rain that stung one's skin as one walks through it.

* * *

Snow. It represented Tamilla well, somehow. Soft, pure, and quiet.

* * *

But the sun seemed to represent her in the right mood as well. Bright, warm, smily.

"Zero," Tamilla whispered, "What is that white stuff falling from the sky?"

Perhaps Tamilla had never seen snow in her past life. "It's called snow," Zero replied with an easiness unrecognizable to himself. "It usually doesn't snow this time of year, not this early."

Tamilla looked at Zero curiously. "Is it... November?"

Zero was a little surprised. She was able to remember a month? Perhaps Tamilla remembered the previous month very clearly before going through a chain of events that led her to this day. "No, it's December. Decomber 24th. Christmas Eve." Zero smiled a little. It felt _so_ freaking weird. Zero had not smiled for days, and the only times when he did was when he thought Yuuki did something ridiculously stupid or inlogical.

What was wrong with him?

Zero simply guessed that he had an expectation of himself to keep the soft warmth coming from the girl with her as much as possible. After all, he had already destroyed nearly every god and bad memory Tamilla Winter ever kept. He _had _to keep Tamilla happy; she was already a ruined person, and it was all Zero's fault. Zero made note to never use the Bloody Rose again.

Zero owned Tamilla something. He owed her his life for nearly killing hers.

"What is Krist-maaz Eve?" Tamilla wondered out loud. Zero brought his attention back to the curiously light-hearted girl. it was painful to see Tamilla unaffected by Zero's cold heart, so painful for her to just accept what Zero had done to Tamilla and not feel any hatred towards his kind. It would be a lot easier to live with a crying, hating girl throwing things at him, for ruining the memories of her past. Why couldn't Tamilla just hate him? ... then, Zero would not feel so terrible for leaving Tamilla in the sorrowful state she was in.

Why couldn't Zero learn from Tamilla?

For all these years, Zero had hated vampires with an intesity greater than a million suns. They were deceiving bloodsuckers with no heart, and a pathetically asthetically appealing exterior to lure their victims. Why couldn't Zero _forgive?_

Because they had killed off his family?

Zero missed so many things when he decided to _hate_. He missed the warmth of the sun that seemed to have no affect on him, the quiet rain that would usually be able to calm him down, the love he would be given generously from his family and loved ones.

* * *

He missed living.

* * *

Zero was a monotone robot who would not let anyone into his heart. After all, it was the duty of a vampire hunter to be emotionally stable. He was taught to never make eye contact, never let your emotions show, give only 1 or 2 worded replies, and speak in one expression. It was his duty to follow these guidelines. But Zero missed what he _could _have been doing, what he felt like doing. Sometimes he wanted to just stay in his room and cry, and sometimes he just wanted to hide from the world. How could he? Instead, Zero forced himself to keep his pain and sorrow to himself...

Zero was trapped in his dark lair, nothing left to unlock the door. He missed what was on the other side, and as much as he hated to admit it, there was a longing to find the key that would bring him out to the world again.

Zero decided to stay inside the dark room with the locked door. Dwelling in the memories of blood, lingering in his feelings of hatred. He missed the other side of the sun. The warmth. The sympathy. The love.

"Zero? Are you alright?" Tamilla whispered quietly. She was kneeling now, no longer wrapped in a coffin of quilts. Tamilla was just a little handful of sunlight, wasn't she? A small being in a dirty cocktail dress, black bushy hair and magnificent green eyes trapped between thick black eyelashes. She could light the path Zero had forcefully hidden, force him out of the dark he had been living in.

Raising his reluctant smile to meet the glowing aura, Zero slowly nodded. "I'm ... alright. What were you asking again?"

Tamilla immediately gave a twinkle of her eyes. "Oh right! Zero, what is Krist-maaz Eve?"

Zero stared into the light, falling snow, "Christmas is a certain day of the year where people are ... very kind to one another. Each person shows how important their loved ones are to them. Usually there is an exchange of gifts and Christmas dinner. Christmas Eve is the day before Christmas."

Tamilla's eyes grew wide, offering Zero a full view of her mesmerizing green orbs. "That means tomorrow is Christmas?"

Zero nodded. Tamilla grinned.

Zero felt as if he had known Tamilla forever. She just felt so... relaxed when she was around him. Zero right then and there was completely convinced by the purity and innocence of the glowing girl's smile that he would do whatever it takes to protect Tamilla. To keep her happy, to catch her when she falls. After all, he felt as if it was his duty protect Tamilla after being responsible for her loss of memory.

Through the small crack of the door, Kaien Cross' smile was possibly wider than his face. His cheeks hurt. But Zero was smiling! He watched happily as the two kids conversed on the bed easily with each other. The emotionless face that Cross was so used to seeing, the expressionless mouth and the silver hair covering the dead eyes, was quite a difference from what Cross saw right now: a little smile playing on Zero's young lips, the paleness of his skin breathing in a richer colour, and an unfamiliar softness emanating from his amethyst eyes.

Tamilla Winter would do Zero Kiryuu some good.

* * *

**Sorry I haven't been updating! The last few days have been hectic with finals! **

**It's time for the story to really begin. Did I not say that this was a ZeroXOC story? ;)**

**The Kaname X Tamilla relationship established before these stories is so that when school starts, there will be real tension between Kaname and Zero. Sorry to all the Kaname hopefuls! I understand many of you are confused how Tamilla ended up separated from Ichijou (I miss writing about that guy!) and Kaname; I promise a chapter soon from Kaname's point of view of what happened.  
**

**I was addicted to this song by 3 Doors Down. I had to make this song stick with the story. If any of you have time, I really recommend listening to 'Away From the Sun'!!**

**Love you all! Next chapter will be up after 5 reviews. Thanks everyone! :D :D**


	10. All I Need

**Lithium Petals 10**

_Listen to: All I Need by Within Temptation_

**Cross**

"Get out! Out, out, OUT!" Kaien Cross shouted to the rowdy reporters. They whined like young children as the caring center nurses also assisted shoving them out the entrance.

Cross huffed when the last reporter finally got the idea and stalked out of the building. He walked back to Tamilla's room to find the two children still sitting on the bed laughing about something. Zero's usually over-serious face softened when he was around Tamilla; Zero was actually acting like someone his age. Come to think of it, Zero was a lot younger than he was acknowledged for - he was only 13 this year. After living months with the pesimmistic boy, it was a delight for Cross to see Zero's lips curl up into a handsome smile. It truly softened the lavender of his eyes.

He had a lot to thank Tamilla for.

Kaien Cross re-entered the hopsital ward with a smile wider than his waistline.

* * *

**Tamilla**

Tamilla looked up from her steaming cup of tea to find Cross re-entering the room. "What were all the reporters doing out there?" Tamilla questioned. For the last hour, Cross had been outside in the snowy weather shoving and booting reporters out of the building, while Zero and Tamilla had been observing the commotion from outside the windows. They had started talking about Cross himself, each noting the gayness Cross would so often demonstrate. Tamilla just felt so natural around Zero; it was as if she had known him forever! There was a little happiness, a little butterfly in herself that fluttered every time she talked with Zero. And it wasn't puppy love; it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Cross sighed dramatically. "They somehow heard stories of you, Tamilla," Cross began to explain as Tamilla looked from Zero back to the man, a puzzled expression evident on her face, "There has never been a non-pureblood vampire in history that survived a square shot from a vampire hunting gun." Looking up to meet Tamilla's eyes, Cross pondered out loud: "Do you remember anything of your family's blood roots?"

Tamilla was at lost for words. The reporters were there because she _what_? "I... I'm a vampire?" Tamilla stuttered. Was she? Tamilla raised her fingers to touch her incisor teeth. They weren't the razor sharp teeth that she saw in the images that would play across her head. She didn't thrist for blood, either. She was nothing near a vampire, she was a human for sure. But how could she prove it? There was no idea or image that danced in her head as she tried to convince herself that she was a full-time human.

As human as she seemed, Tamilla knew she could not completely prove that she was a human. What if she was a filthy blood-sucking monster in her past life? What if she had drunk the blood of hundreds of victims? Tamilla would never, ever know.

Cross seemed puzzled for a small moment. Suddenly he looked bewildered an stammered with apology: "Of course, of course! How would you know? I'm sorry Tamilla, I took for granted most vampires' obsessive behaviour of their blood history. I didn't realize that you wouldn't know!" Cross exclaimed in one breath. Zero looked bothered for whatever reason, while Cross was nervously chuckling to cover up his inconsiderate regardlessness. As he brought himself back to seriousness, Cross started to explain; first, he asked for a starting point. "How much do you know about vampires, Tamilla?"

"Only that they drink blood and have small fangs," Tamilla chuckled. Cross laughed lightly. He took a breathe and spent the next hour teaching Tamilla the basic knowledge of vampires while Zero zoned out on the bed.

Cross explained the level of vampires, their abilities, their blood lineage, purebloods, the classes (Zero excused himself from here, apparently dying of boredom), their weaknesses ("I thought vampires were only afraid of garlic!"), the ignorance of humans regarding vampires as a myth, and the transformation of a human to a vampire. He explained everything there was to know about vampires, at least to his own knowledge. This girl had a right to know; after all, she seemed to be a vampire herself.

Tamilla blinked after her condensed lesson. Things made sense, sort of... the classes and the powers and everything... there was just one thing she was curious of:

"How would you kill a vampire?" Tamilla asked Cross. The tea in her hands had already gone cold after the lengthy talk.

Cross' expression wavered at Tamilla's straight-forward, but controversal question. "Well, what Zero used is a very effective weapon against most vampires. Vampire hunting weapons, such as his gun, are fully capable of killing vampires or at least injuring pureblood vampires. Which," Cross smiled at Tamilla, "is what makes you such an interesting creature. I don't know for sure what you are, and neither do you, but vampire hunting weapons have no abilities to harm humans. Since you seemed to be at least injured by the Bloody Rose, it proves you are a vampire. However," Cross' eyebrows narrowed in perplexity, but also lightened in fascination, "you survived that attack! And its evident that you aren't even a full grown vampire. You seem around 10 or 11 years of age, Tamilla, which makes your story so remarkable. We'll have to keep your profile low though, or else those crazy reporters like the ones this noon will be hoarding after you in every possible moment. You are truly a walking miracle!" Cross ended with a smile.

Tamilla pondered to herself. So apparently Zero had shot her in her past life with a vampire hunting gun... and she survived, but lost her immediate memory... and she is a legend because she survived that attack, but she doesn't even know what she is.

"This is all too confusing," Tamilla sighed, exasperated. Cross immediately stood up.

"I'm glad you think that, Tamilla. This whole vampire business is very controversal and complicated. Why, I know more about vampires than some vampires do about themselves!" Cross smiled. Tamilla smiled in reply, but she could not stop arguing internally to herself about the kind of creature she actually was. If _only _she could remember!

That moment, the nurse walked in with a stack of papers and Zero right behind her. Tamilla smiled at the silver-haired boy, who awkwardly smiled in return. The nurse pulled Cross aside to discuss something about papers and agreements and guardianship.

Tamilla didn't even need to think about her adoption decisions. She felt right at home around these two people: Zero as her new best companion, and Kaien Cross as her adoptive father. Zero approached Tamilla with a small smile.

"You're coming home with us as soon as Cross signs those papers," Zero announced. Tamilla grinned from ear to ear; she could not have hoped for a more mismatched family! A 'father' who seemed to have attention deficit disorder or something, a moody but monotone best friend, and herself, a walking legend with no memory of her past.

This was going to be an interesting life.

* * *

Tamilla could not sleep. Rolling over side to side on the bed, she sighed in frustration. There was so many thoughts that were floating in her mind; her lost past, her new family, her 'surviving ability', her future. It was all coming at her too fast. She had awoken from a 2 week coma, been adopted, learnt about vampires and found out that she was a walking legend all within 6 hours. Her head hurt worse than it did during the rainy morning - it used to be a little dizziness, but now there was a irritating pounding against here skull.

Tamilla opened an eyelid to look out the window. The snow continued to fall, illuminated and glittering by the gentle glow of the street lights. It was quite beautiful, really, now that Tamilla was alone to appreciate it. The snow was so quiet and beautiful; it was calming to look at. She sighed in a frustrated peace - her head was hurting a terribly annoying pain, but it was so calming to look at the surreal snow outside the window.

Her new home was so big! Tamilla learned while being introduced to her new dwelling that Cross was going to open an Academy in just a matter of years, which explained the sheer size of the grounds. Tamilla, along with Zero and Cross would sleep in the rooms that were close to the main offices. One day, Tamilla would be enrolled in the Academy herself.

... but for now, Tamilla would frustrate herself about her perplexing past.

Sighing once again, Tamilla shifted to her other side to face the door. It wasn't much help.

* * *

**Okay, it's the start of Tamilla new life! I chose this beautiful song by Within Temptation because it talks about giving life a second chance while still being doubtful and understanding the risks. I'll be taking in song requests, as long as they are in English and can be related to the story!**

**I'll apologize for the selfish delay of updates; these days have been honestly very hectic. School's finally over, so I'll be pouring over this story! You've guys have been very loyal; I'd like to point out **athanasiamikee **for reviewing nearly every single chapter so far, even the first couple which everyone ignored :) Thank You!!**

**I'm happy with my new hobby of writing fanfics, and I'm glad many of you are taking the time to read them; thanks! Next chapter will be out after 5 reviews!  
**


	11. Heaven

**Lithium Petals 11**

_Listen to: Heaven by Theory of a Deadman_

**Tamilla**

Tamilla heard a quiet knock against the door. The voice coming from the other side was comfortingly familiar:

"Tamilla, it's me Zero. I have some warm milk for you."

Zero creaked open the door, allowing a dim light to cast itself subtlely among the objects in the room. His lanky sihlouhette stood out from the soft glow of the hallway, then it slowly neared Tamilla. As Zero approached, Tamilla could see him in a set of loose pajamas holding a cup of milk, his hair as violently silver and eyes as wonderfully lavender as ever. Tamilla sat up against the headboard and rubbed her eyes in tiredness. 2 hours of just thrashing around in a bed thinking about stuff that didn't make sense was awfully energy-draining.

"Thanks, Zero," Tamilla said softly as she took the warm cup of milk in her hands and touched the cup to her lips. Nice and warm. Just the way she liked it. Zero stood obediently at the side of Tamilla's bed until she was completely finished drinking the milk. The warmness of the fluid relaxed herself.

Zero took the empty cup away from Tamilla when she was finished drinking. His emotionless face was even more undecipherable in the darkness of Tamilla's room, yet Tamilla could quite vividly notice the glowing amethyst of his eyes. He was nearing the door, he was leaving... but some part of Tamilla wanted to run up to Zero and ask him to stay. Zero was Tamilla's safety net, one that was sewn just 24 hours ago. Who else was there to talk to in this new, strange world?

"Zero," Tamilla whispered, not even audible to her own ears as her impossibly shy voice was muffled by the blankets that were tucked around her.

Miraculously, Zero seemed to have heard his name. The silver headed boy slowly stopped in his tracks. He was still facing the door; all Tamilla could see was the dark contour of Zero's body against the light glowing from the hallway.

Tamilla wanted to say and ask so many things. Her head _hurt! _She was lost, she was insecure, she was a broken marionette, and Zero was the only one who could save her. Tamilla had no one else to turn to, Zero was her light that seemed to illuminate all the confusions of her present.

"Don't go," Tamilla whispered again, as quietly as she could muster. This time, she was absolutely _sure _Zero could not hear her. Tamilla was being ridiculous, addressing Zero with a voice more quiet than silence. She could easily imagine herself in Zero's mind as a nagging pain, a lost child, who had no family and no past. Tamilla sheepishly looked down at the blankets, her eyes beginning to swell, beginning to blur...

* * *

**Zero**

Zero heard his name being called softly to him. It was wonderfully comforting, Zero wondered if it was a song; her voice was angelic, so innocent, yet insecure.

Zero paused before exiting the room. Had he imagined his own voice? This is just splendid, now he's hallucinating. Well, his name was awfully quiet, perhaps he did imagine it.

But his imagination wasn't that creative - it would have been hear impossible to dream of a voice so gentle.

The voice reassured him it wasn't a hallucination. Zero was relieved to hear it again, dragging him back to the reality of the silently dark room:

"Don't go," it whispered.

Zero's heart contracted. The reason why the gentle voice was on the tone of discomfort was _him_. Zero was the one who caused this. For the first time in his life, Zero felt inner _sorrow_, not to be confused with _hatred; _it was Zero's fault that the child behind him was a mess, it was him. Zero hung his head, genuinely angry at himself.

Zero turned around to face the girl. She was hugging herself tightly, her face pressed onto her knees. Her warm aura seemed was still there, it never faded away, but her smile did. Zero could just tell that the girl was close to tears.

She tilted her face up to meet Zero's.

The heartbroken green eyes met the surprised lavender ones. Her black, thick lashes were visible even in the dark when the light reflected off the watery tears that embraced them. Zero's heart fell, it was just a sin that Zero caused this angel to cry. He was frozen on the spot, his mind completely blank at what to do and his heart refusing to stop pounding. In the dark, her pale skin almost glowed, with those brilliantly green eyes blinking back the tears Zero hated to see.

Zero was dumbstruck. What was he supposed to do?

Would he just stand here and marvel at this wonderfully innocent creature and its pure emotions? Or shall he comfort it? Should he leave, to avoid any moments of awkwardness? Or should he stay just to talk about what was on the child's mind?

It wasn't fair how such an innocent being like Tamilla had to suffer these complicated feelings and situations. She was only a child!

Slightly paralyzed, Zero quietly sat himself down on Tamilla's bed. Some ridiculously sentimental part of Zero took Tamilla's small hands and placed them gently in his own warm ones. Her hands, though pulsating with that lovely aura Zero had now been accustomed to, were slightly cold - frozen by the blankness of her thoughts. All the while, Tamilla's eyes never left the blankets, staring down to perhaps hide a complicated emotion Zero could only imagine. Zero stroked his comforting hands along the cold skin of Tamilla's; it could have felt awkward, but it didn't.

It felt _right, _just Tamilla and him, no words necessary, just the simplicity of his large hands warming Tamilla's small, cold ones.

Zero continued to stare down at the fairy-tale like creature with an aura so pure, it was almost surreal. Tamilla slowly raised her head to find Zero's eyes. Zero was surprised to not meet a teary, red and puffy face, but oddly a quiet one with a pair of serenely smiling green eyes. Sure, people could smile, but Tamilla could smile with her eyes. A little caught off guard, Zero could only half smile back at Tamilla. Her smile lips began to move, ever so slowly:

"Thank you, Zero."

That's all she needed to say.

* * *

**Kaname**

Rain slowly froze into soft feathers of snow, illuminating the dark Christmas Day. Perhaps it was a sign of hope, that his angel was still out there... or perhaps it could represent a settling peace, that this angel had moved on...

Kaname's long, cold hands gripped the glass window. Using all of his self-control, Kaname left the frail window in one piece.

Humans are just llike a windows, aren't they? Frail, but solid; distorting, but clear. And compared to a vampire, the only thing they are able to do is succumb to the superior's strength and nobility.

Ugh, he was drifting again. This always happened when Kaname lacked sleep. But how could be blame himself? The past few weeks had been unbearably irritating and even infuriating. Kaname had not been outside these usually welcoming doors of the Ichijou family for weeks, paranoid by the idea that a mental detail could have slipped past his mind if he wasn't concentrated on pinpointing just what on Earth happened to Tamilla when she was shot by the Bloody Rose nearly a month ago.

* * *

_Kaname slowly opened his eyes to a familiar room, a familiar face. Takuma Ichijou's face was lined in worry and confusion, as his grassy green eyes immediately began reacting at Kaname's wake. Questions slipped out very quickly, before Ichijou even allowed Kaname convalesce from his droggy unconsciousness. _

_"Kaname, Kaname! Can you hear me? Are you awake? How are you feeling?!"_

_Kaname was not the least overwhelmed by Ichijou's superfluous concern. Kaname was alright, physically, he assured as he scanned his intact body still in a formal dress-wear - but there was a little itch at the back of his mind... what was he doing here, in the Ichijou household? What was the last thing he remembered? It took a small eternity to recollect any memories... something about... a forest... a young vampire... before he passed into darkness. His head wasn't thinking clearly; what happened to him? Why couldn't he _remember_? _

_Wait. He remembered. A small face, a sweet voice... Tamilla?_

"_Tamilla." Kaname simply stated. He looked up to see, surprisingly, a confused expression from one of Tamilla's best friends._

"_I'm... sorry, Kaname? Who?" Ichijou questioned slowly. What did he mean, _who? _Who else? Who else would Kaname's heart stop beating for, who else? Ichijou must be misinterpreting this moment as a time to joke around. He would be punished for it later. Right now, Kaname wanted to know one thing..._

"_Ichijou, tell me right now. Where. Is. Tamilla. Winter." Kaname's usually calm voice thick with authority and stress. His eyes were burning with the urgency to understand where his little Tamilla dissapeared off to. Where could she have went? There was a gunshot... Tamilla fell... Kaname held her in his arms, and then... and then what happened? What a perfect time to pass out. Did he even pass out? If Kaname had, how did he?_

_Ichijou's face, twisted with confusion just a moment ago, was now distorted with concern. "Kaname, I assure you, I don't know who you are talking ab-"_

_Midsentence, before he could finish, Ichijou found himself uncomfortably pinned onto a wall, held by one of Kaname's shaking hands at Ichiou's throat. Before Ichijou had even blinked, Kaname's unnatural strength and speed, even for a vampire, allowed Kaname to appear at Ichijou's side in an infinitesimal fraction of a second. Even Kaname himself felt oddly drugged or something. He had never reacted like this before - then again, this was about Tamilla Winter. His iron-stiff arms held Ichijou in an awkward but not painful position against the wall._

_"Ichijou," Kaname started, his breathe aflame and his face livid with a hundred emotions Ichijou could not piece together, "I want you to stop this. Now. I trust you... to tell me the truth."_

_Kaname's faith was faltering. Ichijou's face was of pure honesty and even perhaps fear of Kaname physically hurting his most trusted peer. After what seemed like hours, Kaname could not find a trace of denial in Ichijou's honest face. All the while, Ichijou remained silent, as if a single sound from his mouth would play as an enticement for Kaname to threaten him again. _

_Ichijou was telling the truth. And as crazy as it seemed... Takuma Ichijou had no recollection of Tamilla Winter. So how come Kaname did?_

* * *

Kaname snapped awake from his reappearing memory again. He had been examining his memory over and over - yet, they offered no idea of why or how Tamilla disappeared and why everyone Tamilla had once associated with seemed to have _never met her at all. _Ichijou, the maids, the cooks, the body guards - they all had looked at Kaname with a puzzled face when Kaname had called them and demanded them to answer the question whether they had seem or even remembered Tamilla Winter. Out of sheer internal frustration, he had even sent the maids to the guest room which had been Tamilla's room for the past few years and open the closet. The countless dresses and clothes Kaname enjoyed spoiling on the young child would SURELY be proof that Tamilla was not just a hallucination of Kaname's imagination.

The maids replied Kaname's phone call with a worried voice; they had not found anything in the empty closet except a handful of clothes hangers and pillows.

That had been just a week ago. Kaname admitted that he had went to ridiculous extents to recover the girl that he had cared for. Kaname sent a detective unit to scour his mansion for any signs that a smiley girl had once existed; he payed overtime for scientists to find irregular DNA in the guest room. They all though Kaname was crazy - not the _crazy _crazy, but the kind of 'quiet-authoritative-man-has-evil-plans' crazy.

Kaname was now losing the game, but he had not shown the world that he was losing faith. He still believed that Tamilla was a walking human (or vampire or whatever she would like to refer herself as), and that she had once existed.

Perhaps she simply... died.

_NO! She is NOT dead. _Kaname's instincts roared. Beneath his relatively pulled-together and silent exterior, Ichijou was the only other person who realized that Kaname was battling an inner war inside himself. Kaname slumped gracefully back into the work chair in Ichijou's library. His firey crimson eyes never left the peaceful scene on the other side of the glass window.

There was no material recollection of Tamilla - no clothes in what should be in her closet, no pictures in what should be in prized frames, no memory of the girl in what should be her closest friends. Even Ichijou, yes, Ichijou was being very patient with Kaname in this ridiculous state, but he doesn't remember a _single thing _about Tamilla Winter.

"Kaname... it's me, Ichijou," a quiet and respectful voice welcomed itself in into Kaname's current residence. The library. Ichijou was responded with an empty silence.

"Ichijou," Kaname stated quietly. Kaname was about to admit something he never let his heart believing, but something that his mind had concluded. The odds really were against Kaname; or should he say, Tamilla Winter. Swiveling around on the chair, Kaname turned to address Ichijou, "I have to... apologize for my behaviour for the last few weeks. It was selfish and very unacceptable, for I had taken up room in your residence and stressed you with things you should not have worried about. Or, should I put it, ideas that are likely to have not existed."

Ichijou simply blinked at Kaname's ridiculously formal apology. He smiled, and a heavy weight on Kaname's chest became the slightly lighter. It had been a very long time since Kaname had seen a worthwhile smile.

"No worries, Kaname! Mother and Father were staring to get worried about your diet... you haven't eaten a proper dinner for 2 weeks. Would you like to join us tonight?" Ichijou's normal bubble-headedness returned. It was refreshing to see it again.

Kaname's inners seemed to have swelled. He was touched that there were people out there who still cared about him, his orphaned and mental and monotone state. The light off Ichijou's eyes were simply bouncing with relief. Kaname didn't deserve to see it.

As much as he liked, Kaname once again trusted his mind over his heart. It was too risky to build a tight relationship with anyone outside of his family. Wait, he didn't have family, Kaname remembered, at least none he would like to recognize right now. Perhaps he should go see Yuuki again.

"I would have to decline your offer, Ichijou. Thank you, perhaps some other time," Kaname responded. He picked himself up and was ready to exit the room until Ichijou started waving something in his hand.

"Kaname! One other thing - you might want to put some investigation in this," Ichijou murmured as he stuck his face into the rustling newspaper. "It says here there's some rumour about an amazing survival story not far from here... they're not clear of what exactly happened, but I believe they say a female vampire is recovering quickly from what could have been a deadly attack - vampire hunters, perhaps - but they don't mention any name, age or clan. What do you think, Kaname?" Ichijou looked up thoughtfully. "Anything worth looking into, or recruiting?"

Kaname would have liked to investigate more about this apparant 'amazing survival'. Right now was not a very good time; Kaname had a month's worth of business to catch up with back home.

Kaname turned and half-smiled at Ichijou, his eyes tired but his intentions clear. "Please remind me to look it up some weeks from now. I've great business to deal with back home," Kaname sighed without emotion.

Turning around, Kaname conversed lightly before leaving the Ichijou library: "Besides, Takuma, does the article not point out that it is simply a 'rumour'"?

* * *

**HIIIIII everyone!! It feels GREAATTT to be back home and back on the keyboard. I have been in Europe for the past couple of weeks, WITHOUT INTERNET (I know, I know. Apparantly internet is as expensive as heck over there) and I am terribly sorry I did not give you all prerequisite notice. So, as a special gift for you guys, I doubled the length of this update. Ta daaaaa! How did you guys like it? Too long? Not long enough? Hahahaa. Oh, a side note: I'm trying to keep my song choices as diverse as possible, but another wonderful song that would fit this chapter well is The Gift by Seether (I've already listed a Seether song a while ago).  
**

**Nice to read all of the lovely reviews. Keep it up! I actually had a splendid time writing at max speed this 2500 word post. Perhaps I should keep up this length in the future? Anyways, I love you all, and keep up the reviews!**

_- Rice Pudding :)_

* * *


	12. Count on Me

**Lithium Petals 12**

_Listen to: Count on Me by Bruno Mars_

"I'm home!"

Tamilla shut the grand door, threw the keys onto the kitchen counter, and ran up the stairs. She threw her sling bag with a usual vigour, stressed with the weight of her ninth grade textbooks binders, unto her clean desk. Closing the blinds, she changed out of her uniform. She had always hated the ties – she started to question the purpose of ties since the first day of school in grade four and the mental capability of the person who invented them around grade six –, the itchy socks, stupid shoes, cheap white polos, and the ugly green-black plaid skirts. Ugh… ugh! Changing out of them everyday around three in the afternoon was a daily baptism.

Her swimming team t-shirt, sweatpants, hair re-tied into a looser ponytail. Much better.

Tamilla skipped down the stairs back into the kitchen. She ran a plump apple under the sink, dried it with the teacloth, and took the first satisfying crunch out of it. Math, science homework, and a silly music quiz tomorrow about… well, about something. She'll know later.

"TAMILLA DARLING!" Uncle Kaien squealed, eyes squeezed together delightfully into semicircles. "How was your day, Tammy?"

Tamilla smiled and looked up to the ceiling, letting the sweet tart memory of the apple linger in her mouth. "Not bad… I got a B on my history paper! I hardly did anything, Uncle, I had so much swimming last week, I just threw together an ugly paper around ten at night. So that was pretty good."

At the word B, Kaien Cross' eyes dropped into rectangular apparatuses of disappointment. "Tamilla. I know we've talked about this before, but you know that you can't let your marks suffer because of swimming. Really, I've half the mind to – "

"I know, I know Uncle!" Tamilla sighed. It was so unfair that someone as smart as Zero lived under the same roof. Everything she did was compared to Zero's school winning science project, or the novel report in the display case, or the poem published in the lifestyle magazine, or the history notes with a pompous "A ++" stuck onto the fridge. "I know, Uncle. It won't happen again. I will try harder next time."

Tamilla turned to give Kaien Cross a reassured, exasperated smile. He immediately brightened up.

"Good to hear your academic commitment being reinforced, Tamilla!" (Tamilla rolled her eyes when she was sure he wasn't looking). Kaien Cross bellowed down the hall, "ZERO! COME HERE!"

Tamilla swivelled around from the kitchen chair. Zero, yawning, moody, tired, slowly walked towards them in an amoeboid-like fashion. Her heart fluttered, like every time when she saw Zero's captivating lavender eyes. If only he knew the magic underneath them…

His silver hair was as messy as ever. And yet every strand fell in front of his eyes in weird, kind of perfect way. He still looked tall – it was apparent that soon Kaien Cross would be the one talking up to Zero. Soon enough, Tamilla will have the honourable title as the shortest one in the family. His shoulders were hunched like the way it did always.

His eyes met Tamilla's. Tamilla burst into a smile without even thinking. Zero's eyes kind of glimmered for a second, and his lips subtly curled into that half-crooked awkward smile of his. Ah, that small but rewarding smile! To anyone else, it must have looked like a sneer – to Tamilla, it was the most perfect smile in the world.

"Zero, my son!" (here Zero winced). "I've got one question to ask you. Well, two. Well, actually, I also wanted to check up if you were doing okay with the… you know? Is everything running smoothly? … oh, AH! Nevermind." Kaien Cross chuckled sheepishly. "So, Zero, what do you want for dinner? It's your pick tonight!"

Zero slowly dropped his head back in a groan. "Uuuggghh… you interrupt me to ask what do I want to EAT tonight? I have told you, SO many times before…" Zero's eyes narrowed in sarcasm. "I. Don't. Care."

Kaien Cross pouted and exaggeratedly swatted Zero's head. His silver head flew back in front of his eyes. "Goodness Zero, you don't have to give me that attitude every single time you reject my invitation." He turned to Tamilla in another squinty smile. "Well, Tamilla, what will it be tonight?"

Tamilla shrugged. "I chose last night. It's up to you, Uncle!"

Kaien Cross almost replicated Zero's action, throwing back his head in an I-give-up. "I have two of the greatest kids on earth, but one hates all things served on a dinner plate and the other only cares about things served on dessert plates!"

Tamilla chuckled."Okay, okay, okay Uncle! Let's make, uh… salmon? With oyster sauce? I saw it on television. I'll help you out, I'm getting better at home economics. And you don't have to make it sound like my sugar-drive is a crime, you know."

Kaien Cross squint-smiled again. "Oh, you know I love everything about both of you! I was just having some fun. Okay, salmon it is! With, hmm… some salt, pepper, lemon seasoning, parsley, oyster sauce…" he scurried off to the pantry in a mumbling train.

Tamilla turned to Zero again. He came to sit on the chair to the right of Tamilla.

"Hey Zero, can you help me with my physics homework? I think we're doing something about… dynamics, whatever that is."

Zero sighed. "Okay. You know, if you actually read the book, you wouldn't need me at all."

Tamilla rolled her eyes. "That's not true. I need your help no matter how much I work." Tamilla assertively proclaimed. She immediately flushed. "I mean – you're just too smart, Zero. I really don't know how you do it, just staring at a question and finding out the answer in half the time. I really need those brain cells of yours. Too bad we're not related, huh?"

Zero snapped around to look at her. Her eyes became a firy liquid quartz. He stared at her for the longest second, and then turned to stare out the window again.

"You don't want that, Tammy."

Tamilla hated when he made these my-life-is-a-tragic-story comments. She couldn't even account for half the things he said. Well, it was true; if they were related, it would be a crime to stare into those eyes for longer than a split second.

Tamilla caught Zero concentrating on the ground, his brows furrowed together in a narrow line. He looked so serious all the time.

"Hey… Zero? What was Uncle talking about a moment ago?"

Zero's gaze still pierced the floor. "Nothing."

"You sure? C'mon, Zero. You know I hate it when you hide things from me, Ze-"

* * *

Zero whipped around. "Tamilla. I said. Nothing." His eyes, smouldering and angered, bore into Tamilla's.

* * *

Tamilla immediately drew back. His narrowed eyes felt like poison darts ready to pierce through Tamilla. His breathing stopped, his face lost what colour there was left, and every muscle on his face tensed.

There. The day's longest conversation with Zero ended. Quite horribly.

"Oh… oh, I'm sorry, Zero…"

Tamilla stammered. " I had no right at all, I mean, I shouldn't have…" Tamilla stopped herself from ruining her dignity and stared down at the table.

… the heat of his anger was penetrating.

* * *

"I – I'm going to do my physics homework, then."

She slid out of the chair, avoiding eye contact, and flew up the stairs as fast as she could.

At her desk, she dropped her head onto her folded arms. Why? Why don't I ever think about what I say before I say it? Why do I do this to Zero all the time?

Tamilla slowly drew her body upright. She had to stop bothering Zero. She had little idea how much pain Zero endured; the nights where she could hear Zero turning in his bed and sometimes whispering names and things. His face clenched in fear and pain and body covered in cold sweat as she tip-toed to his bedside. He woke up most of the time, turning to face Tamilla as if she was the villain of his nightmares. But then his face would relax slightly, muttering "Go away, Tammy" or "I'm fine", staring straight ahead to the wall facing him, muscles still tight and eyes still narrowed.

"Go to sleep." Tamilla would gently, firmly ask.

Tamilla would never leave him until he fell asleep again. She was as scared as Zero was.

Tamilla would pat his hand. On occasion, her hand would instinctively pat Zero's head, ruffling the silver strands, and tentatively smiling to herself, realizing that this opportunity would never come in daylight. Tamilla would hum a song she recalled from somewhere before her recognizable days.

She liked to see the loosening of his eyes as they floated towards another level of being, the fall of his eyelashes, the disappearance of the scintillating purple. Zero was so peaceful when he slept. No façade. No hatred. Only the quiet rise and fall of his breath. He looked other-worldly when he slept.

Zero would never tell her what bothered him. Tamilla had a feeling it was the same thing every time, though. But the harder she tried to get an explanation, the further Zero pushed her away. It took time for Tamilla to reluctantly realize that she could never discover what was the source of all of Zero's pain, but the least she could do was to ease it.

* * *

While the summer sun was still out, Tamilla grabbed her diary and ink pen. She cautiously made her way down the grand stairs of their large house, careful to avoid any interactions with Zero. Zero was probably in his room reading or just sitting on his bed thinking about how annoying Tamilla was. Tamilla's heart fell at her realization. Tamilla was only a burden to Zero. A lost, limping puppy. A parasite. While she still had the chance, Tamilla dejectedly crept out the door to the great outdoors.

* * *

The Santuary. It was the small field of grass, shaded by a range of fruit trees, that Tamilla loved to spend her time in since the first spring at Kaien Cross' large house. The Sanctuary, as Tamilla had intuitively named it upon her first encounter after chasing a Monarch butterfly into the area, was the border between Kaien Cross' vast school property and the neighbouring family farm. In reality, there were an infinite number patches of grass to choose from as parts of the enormous school property – in a few years, the school would be open, and thousands of high school students in ironed-uniforms and a zeal for learning will pour through the gates of Cross Academy. Already, the dorms were built and the landscape was under construction. The Sanctuary was a place that Tamilla enjoyed calling her own. It was out of the way from all of the other buildings and dorms, tucked beyond the patches of forest that lined the walkways. Plum trees and cherry blossoms were scattered about in the small field. Occasionally small families of birds would serenade the air with song. A quiet buzz of life hummed.

As the seasons passed, Tamilla fell in love with the dreamy petals that fell like perfumed snowflakes in the spring and the convenience of snapping off a small plum a few feet away in the late summer. She shared her secret Sanctuary with Zero, who sometimes teased her by being and the Sanctuary first and 'claiming' it until Tamilla made Zero drop his property title by swatting him over and over with her book or diary.

* * *

Today it was all hers.

Tamilla sat down next to the largest cherry blossom tree at the centre of the small clearing. She opened up her notebook and began to write:

_Dear Diary,_

_I guess I pissed Zero off again today. Why do I always do this? He has enough to deal with. I wish we could go back to the days when he would still talk and laugh with me, and I could hug him as tightly as my heart desired without him resisting._

_I guess I'm going to have to accept the way he is. I still adore Zero… maybe a little more than what is safe admitting. Like I said before, I can't help it. I don't want my heart to flutter or my face to light up every time I see him; what if it's too obvious?_

_Last night I visited Zero while he was asleep. I know it sounds weird… but I'm so worried about him all the time. Maybe he's sick or something, and he's keeping it a secret from me. What if it's cancer? What if it's incurable? Uncle won't tell me anything either. He says I "will know when it is time". Zero looked normal though. If you consider his normal being an oddly pale complexion and sporadic grunts in his sleep. I patted his head, softly, the way I do always when he tries to fall asleep. He's so peaceful at night… when I see him like that, I know I am safe in this strange, scary world. He makes me happy. If only I could do the same thing for him…_

"Hey." Zero was standing with his hands in his pockets and his head hung down, sheepishly, a few feet away from Tamilla.

Tamilla looked up, surprised. "Oh, Zero! Um – hey."

What felt like the longest moment, passed.

Eventually, Zero sat down next to the cherry blossom as well. Tamilla pretended to be completely engrossed in her journaling, but secretly stealing furtive glances at Zero – he seemed a bit… out of place. He looked straight down at the patch of grass in front of him, hands fidgeting like a newborn child experimenting its new senses.

Zero tilted his head, pale hair hanging slightly from one side, cleared his throat to break the silence. "So, what I just said a while ago – "

Tamilla threw her journal and pen aside and jumped onto her knees to face Zero, surprising him by clutching both of his hands in her own. Her face was marked with a sorrowful angst. Brows upwardly pinched together, lips set in an apologetic grimace. Fiery emerald eyes trying to bore into the secretive, lavender ones.

"Zero, I'm so sorry about my big mouth." Tamilla took a substantial inhale. If she talked non-stop, it would give Zero minimal opportunity to shut her up.

"Sometimes I don't think about what I'm saying or asking… I'm sorry you ended up stuck with a nosy kid like me. It's just that I want to help you, but I don't know how…" Tamilla looked down, ashamed of then stupid actions and presently stupid words. "I figure the only way I can help is after finding out what's bothering you first. But if you tell me now I cannot know, then I promise I will never, ever try to find out again."

Tamilla's head hung lower. She was still holding his frozen hands. Her eyes were starting to blur with water, and her face squeezed in concentration to hold them back. "I'm sorry Zero," Tamilla's voice broke. She cleared her throat. "I can't do anything right. I can't even help my best friend. You always know what to do when I'm upset, but I can hardly do anything for you. I'm sorry."

Zero slipped his hands out of Tamilla's grip. She didn't know what to do. A prey without a plan. She didn't want to face Zero and receive another series of glowering despise, but she didn't want to just run away either. She let her palms drop onto her lap.

* * *

A moment. Then… Zero placed his hands tenderly behind Tamilla's back, pulling her into a slow embrace. His arms rested so softly on her back – an embrace of moonlight.

Tamilla's eyes opened in surprise and alarm. The combination of confusion and shock led to a more forceful stream of tears. Her cheek rested on his strong shoulder and her hands, with nowhere to go, bent faultlessly to rest on Zero's arms.

Zero held her against him, his arms pulling her tighter into himself with every laboured breath that he stole. He held all of Tamilla and her confused thoughts, her damaged emotions, her weaknesses and her fears. He held them and stole them away. Falling through the fissure between happiness and heartbreak, falling further and further down, not knowing when solid ground would shatter her to millions of pieces.

* * *

Finally the boy straightened out his arms to face the tentative girl. Her eyes darted around. Was eye contact at this time appropriate?

Zero breathed heavily and narrowed his eyes, as if analyzing this silly girl in front of him. It was the first time Tamilla cried since the day Zero met her. Why was she upset? What harm did she do? Her lip was still trembling and her eyes darted to the ground.

"Tamilla?" Zero whispered. He held her arms awkwardly, but firmly. Tamilla raised her gaze only minimally.

"Tamilla, I… I need to tell you something."

Tamilla looked straight at Zero, wiping away her drying tears with her hand. She straightened slightly, and cleared her throat. "I'm here to listen."

Zero inhaled deeply. He never thought this conversation would come so early. But he needed Tamilla's trust back. He never thought about it too much, but it was this vibrant, silly girl who understood him the most, but at the same time, understood him the least. Perhaps the time to let her in to his world was now…

"Um, I don't know how to say this… Tamilla, I was born a little bit _different_…"

Tamilla straightened even more. She was evidently recovering from the previous emotional moment.

"Uhm. Well, there's some things in this world that I_ like_ and that I _want_ - but I'm not supposed to."

Tamilla cocked her head to one side. Her messy ponytail tilted with the wind, and her eyes scrutinized Zero's expression. Then, Tamilla sprung up, smiling wildly. Zero twisted his face in confusion. _This girl is crazy… I thought we were having a real one-to-one talk here._

She smiled more and concentrated at Zero's expression. Finally she whooped, spun a few circles, exclaiming "I know, I know, I know! Zero, you've been hiding this all this time, and now you are finally going confirm my belief…!"

Zero snapped towards Tamilla. She knows? That couldn't be… how?

And why on Earth is Tamilla so happy about his condition? What happened to the mourning, the elegiac expressions?

Tamilla hopped back onto her knees, taking Zero's hands and clutching them tightly. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, her eyes all squinty and livid. Zero held his breath -

* * *

"Zero, you're not straight, are you?"

* * *

Zero's jaw dropped. Tamilla was still insanely smiling.

_I'm not straight? Is THAT the brilliant assumption of Tamilla Winter?_

Zero stared open mouthed at Tamilla for a good minute. Tamilla's expression gradually turned from excited to quizzical.

Zero's face cracked into a smirk. Then a wide smile. A chuckle…

Soon enough, Zero doubled over, laughing, rolling on the grass and holding his sides while a still anticipating Tamilla looked upon this spectacle.

Tamilla sprung onto Zero, tickling his sides as best as she could. "Are you? Are you, are you? Tell me, I can keep secrets! Huh Zero? Teeeellll meeeeee!"

* * *

Zero and Tamilla entered the kitchen with grass stains and puffy eyes. Some parting chuckles. Kaien Cross had just set the table, and opened his mouth, ready to holler for the children, until he saw the two enter the kitchen for a drink.

These guys had pollen allergies? I had no idea…

"What were you two doing out there, Tammy? Zero?"

Tamilla smiled, stifling a chuckle. "Oh, we just had a real long, serious talk, didn't we, Zero?"

Zero hid his face by looking down at water jug and pouring himself a glass. "Yeah… yeah, we did." Turning around and taking a sip, his eyes hid a mischievous expression.

Kaien Cross smiled. "Whatever you two say. Change and get ready for dinner, okay?"

Turning around, Kaien Cross sported a lottery winner smile. _What did I say a few years ago, huh?_

_Zero was going to be okay…_

_

* * *

_

* * *

_hey hey hey everyone, guess who has been hibernating for a few years? ;)_

_I miss writing this, and I just haven't really found the time to update with all this post-secondary crap going on! Forgive me forgive me... I hope I can still write to my little hearts content this summer because I have BIG plans for this story! Everything's figured out, courtesy of not-being-able-to-fall-asleep syndrome. I MISS YOU ALL 3 Keep in touch..._

_Please, I hope no paramedics will be called because I suddenly updated for the first time in around 2 years. I claim no medical responsibility..._

_Message me, comment, tell me about your life, tell me what you think may happen, what you WANT to happen! My writing style changed a teensy weensy bit... I kind of like it, it's more appropriate for academic styles, so if you notice a change in the way I develop the stories, bear with me for a while._

_I meant for this chapter to be pretty serious but in the end all could think of was "Gee, i really want to publish this... I'm just going throw in a silly ending and satisfy these literature hungry fans out there" and hey, the next chapter will definitely be more 'me'._

_MISS YOU ALL 3 I will be definitely better at keeping this running! I hope to update again in a few weeks!_


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